


The Weird Shit elves Do: Elves and Their Bugs

by Malen



Series: The Weird Shit Elves Do [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:42:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3253550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malen/pseuds/Malen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion fun!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weird Shit elves Do: Elves and Their Bugs

"Inquisitor you are joking, right?" Leliana furrows her brow, pursing her lips. Her arms now crossed to accentuate her annoyance.  
"You can't tell me it would not be enjoyable." Lavellan shows no intent to waver from her request.  
"And what happens if these critters get loose here?" The Spymaster's final attempt to avert the request.  
Lavellan just smiles back.  
Walking down from Leliana's spire, Varric is on the opposite path heading to make a request of his own with Leliana.  
A smile and nod between the two as Lavellan is clearly in thought. A goofy grin paints her face.  
Varric cannot help to wonder what that is all about.  
Meeting with the Spymaster who is still shaking her head. Both hands placed on her desk as she is  
looking down also in thought.  
"So, is this a bad time?" He pokes at Leliana, testing the timing of his request.  
"No, Varric I'm just…never mind it's nothing." Choosing to not open the discussion.  
"I can come back you know." Varric even more curious of Lavellan's grin.  
"Sure, sure that is fine." Leliana clearly not paying much mind to the dwarf.  
Varric leaves Leliana to whatever is on her mind, "Andraste's ass." Mumbling to his self.  
He heads back to his spot by the fire, waiting to see if either of the two leave.

It does not take long before Leliana head's out toward the stables.  
Varric follows from a distance, finding a spot in the stable loft to remain unseen.

Leliana gathers some of the scouts around Skyhold, requesting they meet her in the stables.  
"You want us to do what?" The scouts question the odd request.  
"Just lift some rocks. Get it done." Her commanding reply.

While out on mission scouts are lifting rocks, collecting bugs into jars.  
Some scouts look in, questioning their friends. Clearly an odd action coming from the scouts.  
Others decide to whisper about it back at camp while relaxing with a game of Wicked Grace.  
"Always something going on around here." One scout says to another, shaking his head.

Varric barely made out much of the conversation, but knows the scouts are looking for something they are just as confused over as he.  
"Shit just gets even stranger around here." The dwarf mumbles to his self, filled with curiosity and disturbed by unanswered events.  
"At least our leader isn't stale."

Lavellan is busy in the tavern with Bull, Krem, Dorian, and Cole. Varric had wondered where everyone had been.  
"So, leaving me out of the fun again I see" Varric walks in taking charge of the scene.  
"Varric, we have been wondering where you have been hiding. Here grab this ribbon, you can get the low spots."  
Iron Bull says, always looking for an opportunity to make fun of his short friend.  
"Great, and here I thought we'd be drinking."  
"Oh we will be." Dorian cuts in to the conversation.  
"What exactly are we doing?" Varric lets out his wonder.  
"It's a party!" Cole answers, bringing in a couple Nugs.  
"A party, with Nugs?" Varric questions.  
"It's Sera's birthday, Varric."  
"Oh, well shit. This ought to be interesting." Varric thinks out loud.

Continuing the decorating and wrapping gifts, Varric eases his thoughts over the activity between the spymaster and Lavellan.

The party went off without a hitch. Everyone passed out in their seats or on the floor.  
Cullen managed to keep his clothes in the rounds of Wicked Grace. Not the same could be said for Sera.  
She easily lost, everything.  
Making her way up to her room before the others wake to witness her walk of shame.  
Greeted by one final gift, left set on her window seat.  
She throws on her mustard stained shirt and quickly opens her gift.  
Unwrapping the gift, a case of clear jar's exposed.  
"Are those? Earwigs!" Sera lets out an excited scream. "So many earwigs!"  
Lavellan is already standing in her doorway, rustled from her attempted secret walk.  
Now looking at her friends whose face is beaming with malicious thought.  
"Please tell me there is a party in Val Royeaux soon, I know just where these are going?"

"Inquisitor, I will be sure to present her Duchess with our rejection letter.  
I had hoped she would see reason." Josephine addresses the failed attempt to sway the noble to agree to releasing her elven slaves, freely.  
"If nothing comes of this matter we may need to take,  _other measures_." Leliana never misses an opportunity to show her hand.  
"I hope these well-placed threats will change her mind."

Val Royeaux nobility never spare any expense on their boastful parties.  
The finest attire, most precious china, and excessive displays of wealth poured out in haughty displays to flaunt their superiority.

The heavy wooden door creaks open, exposing the kitchen staff. Overwhelmed with preparations.  
The elves have been working all-day to be sure everything is at its finest, in fear of the treatment that comes  
if there is even the slightest, unlucky accident.  
A few of the elves look over to see their fabled one, who holds a finger to lips.  
A hush that brings joy to the room.  
Passing over a liquid used to spike the vats of wine and rum; their smiles broaden.

"Did you hear her?" Josephine asks Leliana.  
"No, but I still would drink from your own cup." Leliana passes Josephine a vintage bottle to bring in.  
The women know that every party is a gamble.

Shining crystals reflect light around the exquisite ballroom. Everyone in their finest wears.  
Tipping glasses and laughter's grow as the nobles mock and critique every room  
in the noble's house. Scoffing and smiling; greeting and smirking. Playing their games in slight and bonding.  
The party, a symbol of perfection.  
The room filled with laughter and plenty of touching and feeling.  
Maybe more so than usual.  
"Did the Duke just feel up Lady Greisen?"  
"It seems that we were correct to bring our own drinks." Leliana confides, thoroughly enjoying the vulgar displays, clearly induced.  
A harrowing scream quickly silences the laughter as a woman runs past the two.  
People seen flailing their arms and moving in panic as earwigs scurry across the floors.  
Off in the doorways the elven slaves are laughing behind their hands.  
Sera blows a kiss in Leliana and Josephine's direction before she slips out with the rest of her crew.

What seems a simple amount of bugs, intensified by the doses in the drinks make the bugs seems larger than life.  
The nobles see the elves turned into haunting demons, sneering in their laughter as if the gods sent them to  
torment the nobles for their refusal to free their kind.

"Well, it seems we may soon be gaining the Duchesses agreement after all."  
Leliana says to Josephine as they exit the hysteria around them.

The story reaches the Halls of Skyhold quickly.  
Varric meets with Leliana to see if the rumors are true.  
"Let's just say, never question the Inquisitor when she asks for bugs."  
Varric is left shaking his head once more.


End file.
